Mindful Breastfeeding: Bethany’s Journey to Support, Strength, and Connection
As a mindful breastfeeding practitioner, I support mums in a way that blends practical feeding guidance with emotional care, nervous-system awareness, and gentle, personalised signposting. Many mums reach out because they’re in pain, overwhelmed, or worried about feeding, but so often there is something deeper happening too—stress, fear, trauma, exhaustion, or simply the weight of doing everything for everyone.
Bethany’s journey really reflects this. She first contacted me for help with painful breastfeeding, but what she truly needed was space, compassion, and support that acknowledged her — not just her feeding challenges. Her story shows how mindful, holistic care can help mums move from overwhelm to resilience, from surviving to reconnecting, and from “just getting through the day” to feeling more grounded and supported.
When Bethany First Reached Out
Bethany first got in touch to sign up to the New Mum Nest Club. We chatted on social media, and she explained that she had three children five and under — her youngest only four months old — and that she had been struggling with breastfeeding for quite some time.
She soon came along to the New Mum Nest, and it was lovely to meet her and the other mums in person. The space gave everyone a chance to talk, share their stories, and hopefully feel supported.
Seeing the Signs Behind the Smile
While Bethany was feeding her baby, I could see she was in a lot of pain. I also noticed how she used the coping strategies many mums lean on in front of others — laughing, brushing it off, and trying to appear fine. Working closely with mums, and being a mum myself, I’ve learned to recognise when someone needs more support, even if they say they’re okay.
So, Bethany and I arranged a 90-minute session at her home where we could gently talk about her breastfeeding journey and go at her pace.
A Visit Focused on Emotional Wellbeing
When I arrived, the first thing I asked was how she was really feeling. This visit was as much about her emotional wellbeing as it was about breastfeeding. There are so many factors that affect a mum’s mental and emotional state, and it’s vital to acknowledge them. Because:
Struggling emotionally or mentally as a new mum is common, and it needs to be normalised.
Accepting that you need to address how you’re feeling is a sign of strength.
Seeking support is a sign of strength too — a way of saying, “I deserve help.”
And self-care matters. Mums matter too.
Creating Space for Her Story
Bethany opened up. She wasn’t feeling great. Life with three children was, at times, overwhelming, and she was trying to do right by all of them while managing painful breastfeeding and trauma from her baby’s birth.
I gave her space to talk, and release some of what she had been holding in. Holding everything together for your family is exhausting. Although she wasn’t ready to fully discuss her birth, she recognised its impact — especially on bonding with her baby.
There were many possible factors: the trauma, the difficulties with bonding, her heightened nervous system, and the general overwhelm. Breastfeeding relies on connection and calm. When your body is in fight, flight, or freeze, everything feels harder.
A Painful Journey: Mastitis, Nipple Damage, and a Late Tongue-Tie Diagnosis
Bethany had experienced a difficult journey up to this point: severe nipple pain and damage, mastitis three times, and a late tongue-tie diagnosis at four months restricting around 50% of her baby’s tongue movement.
Understanding the Impact of Ineffective Feeding
Mastitis often happens when milk isn’t being removed from the breast effectively or frequently enough. This can lead to inflammation, blocked ducts, and sometimes infection — and it can make an already painful journey even harder.
Tongue-tie can also restrict a baby’s movement to deeply latch and feed effectively, so it sounded like effective feeding hadn’t quite happened yet for Bethany.
Hope After the Tongue-Tie Release
The tongue-tie was released at four months, and although recovery wouldn’t be instant, Bethany felt a glimmer of hope. When I visited, the release had only happened the week before. She was still in pain, and her nipple damage needed time to heal. Her baby also had to re-learn how to feed — rebuilding a new rhythm together isn’t easy.
I reassured her she was doing an incredible job, and we talked about everything she had already overcome. Mums often can’t see their own strength, but Bethany’s perseverance through four months of painful feeding was amazing and I really wanted her to know this and carry this through the weeks to come.
Talking About Her Breastfeeding Goals
We then explored her breastfeeding goals. It was important to understand what she truly wanted — whether to continue or not — so I could support her in a way that aligned with her needs.
For Bethany, breastfeeding meant a lot. She’d breastfed her other two children, but this time it held a deeper significance: she wanted to strengthen the bond with her baby through breastfeeding, something she felt had been interrupted by trauma.
Supporting a Deeper Latch and Signposting Specialist Care
Her baby was due a feed, so I observed. Her positioning and latch were good. With a few gentle adjustments — bringing baby in closer, nose to nipple, and encouraging a wider, more open mouth to get as much breast as possible — she achieved a deeper latch, helping reduce nipple friction.
Because the damage was severe, this wouldn’t be an instant fix. As I’m not a tongue-tie specialist, I also signposted her to an IBCLC local to the area for a review of the tongue-tie release, the exercises she had been given, and further latch support. It’s so important to signpost when things fall out of my remit, of which tongue-tie does. In the meantime, we could work on making those small adjustments to make feeding as comfortable as possible.
Bringing Calm into Feeding
As Bethany fed, we talked about her nervous system and how to bring more calm into each feed, especially when it was painful.
We practised the comfort breath, which can be used before, during and after feeding: Breathing in through the nose for five… and out through the mouth for five…
A simple but powerful tool to ground her, soften tension, and shift her focus from pain to breath.
I’d written some affirmations for her — a mix of breastfeeding and mindset affirmations to boost confidence and rebuild self-belief. When repeated regularly, they can genuinely support emotional wellbeing and help mums reconnect to their own strength.
Finding time for herself was difficult — three children, a house to manage, as well as working a couple of days a week. I sent her some short, guided relaxations to listen to and encouraged her to take even five minutes whenever she could to breathe, rest, and reconnect with herself. This is a core part of mindful breastfeeding — staying connected to your body, your intentions, and your inner compassion. I also asked her what her support network looked like, and to take the help offered to her by her family and friends.
Nurturing Emotional Wellbeing and Knowing When to Signpost
Bethany was emotional. She felt she was failing in so many ways. Although she had people around her, she was struggling to address the emotional impact of birth and motherhood. I listened and supported her, but I’m not a therapist — and she needed more specialist mental health care.
She recognised this too, but like many mums, she feared that opening up might have negative consequences, including being judged or misunderstood. These fears are incredibly common, but asking for help is an act of strength.
Together we talked through how professional support, alongside improving breastfeeding and practising mindfulness, could make a huge difference to her overall wellbeing.
Progress, Support, and Courage
I visited Bethany again the following week. She was still in pain, but less so — around a 6 out of 10 instead of the 8 out of 10 she had been experiencing. She told me she had reached out for specialist mental health support through the NHS, which brought up mixed emotions for her but also relief. I was so proud of her.
In that week, she had:
• made breastfeeding progress
• sought specialist support and discussed a plan for more targeted care
• incorporated her mindfulness tools into daily life
She still had up and down days — recovery is never linear — but she no longer felt alone.
I also signposted her to Maddie’s Miracle, a wonderful breastfeeding charity offering free online 1:1 support sessions. This meant she had additional professional breastfeeding help between our visits if she wanted it.
Continuing Support and Rebuilding Confidence
Since then, I’ve continued to check in weekly to see how she’s feeling and how feeding is going. I’m delighted that her pain has reduced significantly — around a 4 out of 10 now. What an improvement from just a few weeks earlier.
Bethany now has a support system around her — emotionally and practically — and I truly hope that as we continue to monitor her feeding and wellbeing, she can move through these challenges, rebuild her confidence, and recognise just how far she has come. Bethany is a tower of strength in every way.
I hope Bethany’s story reassures mums who are struggling with breastfeeding or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood that they are not alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and with the right guidance and care around you, things can improve.
You are always welcome to get in touch for breastfeeding support, you’re not alone.